Week #25: A Week of Moments.

My 2016

Week #25

A Week of Moments.

I know this post is a little late, but this past week has been one of ups and downs.

Recently I found out that Bryan College, my alma mater, is performing Into the Woods this next academic year. Hate on it all you want, theatre people, but I adore this show. It speaks to my heart in a way that few musicals can. I've been listening to it a lot lately, and this phrase has been stuck in my head.

Oh, if life were made of moments,

Even now and then a bad one!

But if life were only moments,

Then you'd never know you had one.

I kind of disagree...sometimes I like to think of my life in moments; the good and the bad. This week has been full of wonderful and heartbreaking moments, and only when I see all of them together do I realize the beautiful tapestry they make.

This week's' moments:

*Having several great conversations with my former theatre professor who has become a very dear friend.

*Reading Sense & Sensibility and remembering how much I love Jane Austen's work...and also how much I love reading.

*Grieving over the loss of a college friend's father. We may not talk much, but the desire to be there for a hurting friend never goes away.

*Realizing that stage management is something that I am good at, but it is not something that I enjoy. 

*Reconnecting with old friends and enjoying an evening of laughter, food and conversation.

*Finding my new go-to coffee order at Harmony House.

*Feeling overwhelming sadness at the news that one of my best friends from college's newborn baby girl passed away. There are no words.

*Looking forward to my best friend from home visiting next week. 

There have been some wonderful moments, lovely time with friends, and amazing memories made. There have also been terrible situations and the knowledge that life is never exactly what you want or expect. 

I'm thankful for both the good and the bad moments...for without both, life would be so meaningless.

Here's to another week of creating a brand-new, beautiful tapestry.

Week #24: Dear Dad.

My 2016

Week #24

Dear Dad.

Dear Dad,

I know I've posted a photo collage and called you already today. I also mailed you a card that hasn't arrived yet (oops). But I've been sitting here, reminiscing on my 25 years with you being employed as "dad," and it's made me so incredibly thankful for all of the memories I have of you. Some are good, some are dramatic, but all have been important. So thank you, Dad.

Thank you for carrying me piggy-back style up the stairs to bed every single night. 

Thank you for reading The Chronicles of Narnia out loud to me. I am still convinced that an audio recording of your rendition would make millions.

Thank you for our weekly Zambro's date in Sioux Falls. Thursdays were my favorite day of the week.

Thank you for flying me around the room like I was the starship Enterprise during the Star Trek: TNG theme song. That show will never stop being a part of my life.

Thank you for introducing me to old movies, especially the black and white ones. It has forever changed the way I view quality cinematic work.

Thank you for buying me a cat when I was four years old, even though I'm pretty sure you wanted a dog. I guess that worked out...Katy is basically your cat. She loves you more, anyway. (No, I'm not bitter.)

Thank you for playing duets or trios with me at the Christmas share time every year. Correction: Thank you for struggling to play with me. 

Thank you for buying me a toy whenever I got a shot at the doctor's office. Barbies never failed to make the pain vanish.

Thank you for the album Revolver and how much you played it in the car. You influenced my musical taste in hundreds of ways...this is what I'm the most thankful for.

Thank you for teaching my high school literature classes and forcing me to fall in love with the classics. You're the Atticus Finch to my Scout.

Thank you for always putting up with my Broadway soundtracks on car trips. I know you secretly enjoyed them, even though you acted so annoyed. 

Thank you for asking me to switch from soprano to alto in choir. I'm pretty sure learning to read harmony and how to blend changed the course of my college choral experience.

Thank you for always driving my friends and I to countless movies and dinners at Pueblo Viejo. 

Thank you for thoroughly embarrassing me in front of Justin Thomas Oliver and telling him about our ridiculously creepy fan club. (That was creepy, wasn't it?)

Thank you for Drama Camp. It was the highlight of my summer for so many years. To think that I may be able to direct it myself this year is such a special gift.

Thank you for being the worst dad ever (which really means best dad ever) when I was 15 and thought I had found my future husband. Thanks for not letting me date him. Turns out you have a knack for sniffing out the less than worthy ones.

Thank you for holding me when that guy broke my heart, but also, thank you for not telling me that my heart wasn't really broken. You let me think it was worse than it was, and I appreciate that. 

Thank you for fiercely defending me when my heart really WAS broken a few years later. I didn't appreciate it at the time, but looking back I can see how much you protected me during that relationship. 

Thank you for letting me go to school far away and for letting me grow up the way I needed to. I know how hard that was for you.

Thank you for trying so hard to come see me in every single thing I did in college. Even though my friends made fun of me, I can't imagine you not being there for all of my shining moments at Bryan.

Thank you for allowing me to make some mistakes later on in the dating world so that I could learn from them. Sometimes pain is the only way we grow. Thank you for letting me grow. 

Thank you for supporting me when I walked away from my dream...and then gently coaxing me back on my feet. I wouldn't be in grad school if it hadn't been for you. 

Thank you for saying "no" when I asked to leave Louisiana Tech. Thank you for telling me that I could make it. Thank you for not giving in to my tears and pleas. You knew what you were doing. You always do.

Thank you for giving me your sense of humor. I appreciate showing you Jimmy Fallon videos and the fact that you laugh at them. 

Thank you for still letting me sit in your lap (even though you groan everytime I do it).

Thank you for loving me so overwhelmingly.

Thank you for being my Daddy.

With All My Love,

Your Daughter 

Week #23: [insert clever title about friendship]

My 2016

Week #23

[insert clever title about friendship]

This week I began to figure out how the entirety of my summer is going to be, and I have to admit; I'm beyond content with what life is at the moment. The show I'm stage managing rehearses in the evenings, so I have my morning and afternoons free to do whatever I want...I can haunt my favorite coffee hangout from college, or sit out by the pool at the Belisle's house. I can meet up with friends or spend the day reading (for which I have rediscovered my lifelong passion). On Wednesdays, I drive an hour away to the Cumberland County Playhouse and work in their costume shop. That's been an experience of its own, since I have very little costuming knowledge.

This is my summer, and I love it.

On Friday, we had a pool party for one of my best friends Drew to celebrate his engagement to the lovely Olivia. I knew this was coming for a long time now...in fact, I can still remember sitting in the Walmart hair salon with Drew last May. He turned to me and said, "I've already been looking at rings. I'm gonna marry her, Lex." They had only been dating about a month or so, yet I knew this would be the end result. I couldn't be happier for them; they make a beautiful couple and I can't wait to see what their life together turns out to be. It's beyond weird to think about Drew being a HUSBAND, but I also know that our friendship has been through so much already, and nothing will ever change it. I love him so much. And I can't wait to know Olivia even more too!

While at the party, I got to see several friends from college that I hadn't talked to in a long time. The evening solidified my unwavering belief in Bryan College's ability to foster lifelong friendships. 

It doesn't matter that months have gone by without us speaking or seeing one another. 

It doesn't matter that our lives are totally different from what they were in school. 

It doesn't matter that some of us are married while some of us are not. 

The bonds we created through being at Bryan together can't be broken simply by distance or the passage of time.

If I could thank Bryan College for one thing, that would be it. I don't keep in touch with as many friends from there as I thought I would when I graduated, but the ones that have continued to pop into my life are there for the long haul. We are able to pick up where we left off, and we continue to encourage, lift up, and love one another. It's an amazing thing to witness, and an even more beautiful thing to feel. 

So thanks, BC, for giving me so many people to fondly remember, laugh with, and love on.

It's making this summer even more wonderful than I previously thought it could be.

Week #22: The Spider Saga

My 2016

Week #22

The Spider Saga.

Ok, so this week was crazy.

The first half was spent celebrating Memorial Day with Emilie's family, hanging by the pool, in rehearsals, and spending time with friends.

The second half was when I was supposed to move in to my apartment, a place I'm subletting for June and July. On Friday night I was unpacking all of my stuff when I opened the door to see LITERALLY THE HUGEST SPIDER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. 

Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. It was so freaking big.

So naturally, I slammed the door shut. Then I looked over to my right and saw ANOTHER ONE EXACTLY THE SAME IN THE CORNER.

I then sprinted to my bedroom and tried to calm down...to no avail. So I texted Emilie, frantically asking her if I could come back and stay there for the night. Finally getting my heart rate to slow down, I said, "I'm sure it's fine, they're just at the front door. I'll be okay." I went to walk out of my bedroom and there was ONE SITTING RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY ROOM. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

At that point, all clarity and common sense left my brain; I grabbed my overnight things and literally ran out of the apartment, leaving all of the lights on and jumping in my car. I drove to the Belisles, crying and shaking like the idiot that I am.

Fine, judge me. But I don't do spiders that are wider than the span of my foot. My bad.

Anyway, over the next 2 days I got people to help me set off a bug bomb and sweep everything up. I haven't seen another bug since (fingers crossed), but last night was my first night sleeping here.

You may laugh at me, but I called my parents and made them stay on the phone with me as I walked in the apartment, checked all of the rooms and tried to calm myself down again. I crawled into bed and fell asleep with Netflix on and my bedroom lamp on all night. 

And you know what? Yeah, I'm still a little scared. I'm still a little uncomfortable, and I'm still a little lonely. But I've taken action to deal with my fear and I'm trying to get past it. (Along with finding the humor in the situation, as seen by the fortune cookie my dad sent me in the above picture.)

This whole story may seem immature, ridiculous and silly to you, but to me...I'm kinda proud of myself.

That's all.