Summer Catch-Up.

Maybe one of these days I'll actually sit down and hash out everything that happened in my life over the last six months.

....yeah, I know. It's been SIX MONTHS since I've blogged anything. Which is weird, because in the past 4 years I've had this blog, I've always written at least once a month. It helps me process things going on in my head, in my heart...it's how I work through complications and frustrations.

So I'm kind of worried that I haven't written anything in half a year. However, I seem to be doing alright for the most part.

But this post isn't about all of that. I want to tell you guys about my summer gig. And how it's become one of the most grueling experiences I've ever had.

For those of you who followed my theatre job as a Production Stage Manager for an offsite production with Cumberland County Playhouse last summer, you know it was extremely...challenging. For a lot of reasons. Suffice it to say, I promised myself I had learned a lot, but I would never return to that particular situation ever again.

(It's funny how almost every single promise I've made myself over the years has been broken. But that's a topic for another blog post. Stay tuned, it'll be a GREAT one.)

Anyway, while I was still in school at LA Tech this spring, I got a phone call from the director of the production I worked on last summer. He told me they were going to be doing the show again, and he said I was his first choice for Production Stage Manager since I'd done it before. In all honesty, I politely told him "I'll think about it," and then hung up and laughed a lot. My friends laughed with me, because they all knew how ridiculously frustrating my experience was and knew I had no intention of putting myself through that again. I was going to SETC and I was going to get a REAL theatre summer gig. I mean, I'm about to graduate with my Masters! Surely I can get something better, right?

SETC came and went in a flurry of job interviews, where I learned that at this point in my career, my resume can't speak for itself...and I'm gonna need a contact or recommendation of some kind to land me a job in the theatre field. I probably interviewed for about 15 summer internships and heard back from 1.

So graduation was upon me, and I realized that if I didn't take the job offer from CCP, I would have to find a summer job of some kind. It wouldn't be in theatre, and I would most likely be 100 times more miserable.

I told my parents I was thinking about taking the job again, and they both said, "Are you sure? You were so unhappy last year." My friends were concerned. Everyone knew how drained I was from the experience. But...this year I was only working for 5 weeks, and I told my mom, "I can do ANYTHING for 5 weeks. I'm getting paid more. I know the show. I know the people. It's gonna be fine."

Oh, silly Lex.

I got to Dayton, TN on June 15 for my first day of rehearsal, and by June 16 I was overwhelmed with how many things were going horrendously wrong.
Actors are having explosive arguments and stalking out of the space during rehearsals.
The director is struggling with mental clarity and emotional stability.
Other officials of the production are coming to me and asking if I'd be willing to take over the show
I have actors coming up to me and saying I need to take over. Like what, stage a coup?!?!

But mainly, I'm struggling between being professional and doing my job as a stage manager while still trying to be respectful of someone who is my elder and my director. I don't know where that balance is. I really don't.

I'm not going to go into all of the details of what's been going on. If you're really interested, you can ask me personally and I'll be happy to tell you. But I've been placed in an incredibly awkward position and I'm a little unsure of how to proceed.

I will say this though. I know that it is a total God thing that I'm here again. Even though it's not where I saw myself returning and I didn't want to do it...I'm so thankful that with everything blowing up, it's me dealing with it instead of someone new. It's a good thing that most of the cast know me from last year and respect my authority and opinion. It's a good thing that the director and I have a pretty stable relationship. It's a good thing that I'm staving off the crap being thrown my way instead of someone who didn't know anything about this unique situation.

I feel like I say this way too often...but it's going to grow me so much. I just know it.

Doesn't everything?