Job Searching...Soul Searching.

Today was a rough day.

So, I woke up...rather late, mind you. I've sort of gotten into the habit of doing that lately. But hey, it's summer, right? I'm allowed to sleep late.

Wrong.

I get up and meet my parents for lunch. No lie, as soon as I get in the car, I hear these statements literally one after the other:
-"You need to get up earlier."
-"You need to get on a schedule."
-"You need to find a job."
-"You need to make money."

Needless to say, it was a little overwhelming. But I guess my parents were right. I do need to get a move on my life and do something productive.

So today, I went out on the job search. And it was the most humbling experience of my life. I'm not even kidding. I'd never done it before; every job I've ever had has either been given to me or my parents have taken care of it. So this was a new thing.

However, I had three places in my mind that I wanted to work for the summer...and nothing else was even an option.
1)Lifeway Christian Stores
2)Coldstone Creamery
3)Starbucks

I get in the car and drive to Lynchburg, which is where you go if you want a decent job. As I got out of the car to go in Lifeway, a Christian bookstore, I suddenly was overcome with this feeling of nervousness and dread. For those of you who know me pretty well, just talking to someone and asking a simple question usually doesn't make me freak out. But here I was, pacing around the aisles of the store, pretending to be browsing when in reality, I was trying to work up enough courage to do what I came to do. It was ridiculous.

Finally, I just made myself go for it, and I timidly walked up to the manager. Great first impression, I know.
"Um, excuse me...I was just wondering if you were hiring at all for the summer."
"No. We're not. Sorry."
What was I supposed to do then? Smile and say, "Thanks for crushing my already frail dream of getting a job?" Or awkwardly walk out and pretend it never happened? I was momentarily stumped, and then I decided to combine the two. So I smiled, said "Thanks," and walked out...hopefully not too awkwardly.

I got back in my car, and as I sat there, wondering what to do next, I felt this peace come over me.

I realized that I had been trying to put my situation in my own hands, and in my own control. What's the good in that? Every other time in my life that I've attempted that, it always ends as a huge mess.

I started to think. When I graduated highschool, I had my whole college career planned out. I was going to Liberty University to room with my best friend and be close to home. But the Lord had other plans: Bryan College, a town far away from what was familiar and a group of people I had never met before. And looking back, I know without a doubt that Bryan is where I'm supposed to be. The friends I have made there, both girls and guys, are friends that I know I will have long after I graduate. I never once doubted His leading in that area.

So why did I have a short list of two or three places I wanted to work this summer? I was doing it again. I was limiting the hand of God in my life. And that's a mistake I don't want to ever make again.

So I threw out the "Lifeway, Coldstone, Starbucks" agenda, said "God, put me where you want me," and just started driving from store to store, walking in confidently and asking for an application.

And the good thing? Once I let go, I was able to accept anything that came my way...and there were several opportunities waiting.

Why do we limit ourselves? Why do we continue to put ourselves in these boxes, and stubbornly refuse to venture out of them and see what's waiting just beyond the cardboard walls?

Lesson learned. :)