There's Always A Reason.

I know it's only halfway through February, but guys.....literally so much has been happening in my life.

I didn't fully realize it until yesterday. I had randomly texted a friend to tell her I missed her, and she said, "So what's been going on with you?" I began listing everything that had happened in the last few weeks...and as I sat there, looking back at the insanely long and unbelievably ridiculous saga that is my personal life, I found myself wondering "Why me, and why now?"

I'll give you the briefest of overviews, cause I wanna save some of this for my recap at the end of the month. Suffice it to say that along with getting two tickets (yes, at one time), starting rehearsals for a show at my community theatre, and destroying two separate laptops in two weeks, I also had several people from my past randomly pop back into my life and throw my emotions into a sort of chaotic mess.

Like I said, RIDICULOUS.

And here's the thing. I know that it feels like everything comes crashing down right at the moment when we're making the most progress and feeling the best about ourselves. It's so easy to get caught up in feelings of "this would only happen to me" and "why can't my life be simple like everyone else's," but there's something that I've been learning over and over again, especially in the last few weeks. Brace yourself, cause it's painfully simple.

Everything we are experiencing is always for a reason.

Everyone knows this. Everyone says this. But I, for one, am so guilty of failing to live it out on a daily basis. I spout it off but immediately go back to my "comfort zone" of anxiety and longing for control.

...And then I wonder why I'm stressed and emotional, lying in bed at 4 am unable to sleep because I'm thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong in every situation in my life. Geez.

Here's an example. Last night was one of those sleepless nights. Without going into too much detail, I was very weighed down by some of the situations unfolding in my life.

Have you ever had a night where your brain just won't shut off? It's the weirdest, most frustrating feeling. You're lying in bed trying to figure out if you actually fell asleep at one point or if you had really just been awake this whole time. Your head is churning through cycles of "what-ifs" until you roll over and see the sun's out...and it's morning...and you feel like you literally slept for 5 minutes.

Maybe it's just me. (But I seriously doubt it.)

Anyway, I woke up this morning and, honestly, felt dead. After struggling through a shower and getting ready for the day, I was still in a fog of exhaustion and finally resigned myself to the fact that this day was a bust. I was worthless mentally, felt close to worthless emotionally, and totally depleted physically.

A few minutes later, I get a text from a friend who said, "Can we talk? I just need a friend right now." So I call them and we talk for about 30 minutes. It was so wonderful and encouraging, hopefully for both of us.

I hang up with them and say "Ok, I'm glad I could be there for them. That's nice." But then my mind quickly turned back to my own set of problems and worries. (It happens to the best of us.)

Five minutes later, my phone rings and it's another friend. I pick up and they say, "Can I just vent real quick about some things?" So we had a 30 minute conversation, and again, it was great.

I hang up and say to myself, "Man, today is the day for being there for my people. And I love that!" And then it just hit me....

I think God had these people call me, one after the other, so that I would be reminded, in a roundabout way, that I'm not the only one struggling. Yeah, there's a lot going on in my life and I'm honestly a little overwhelmed by the emotions I'm experiencing from it, but I'm not alone.

No one is alone. (That's an Into the Woods reference, if you're not a musical theatre geek like me.)

And it all just clicked. I may be exhausted and didn't sleep at all, but there are other people in my life that can relate. And when they call me to say, "This is how I'm feeling and how I'm struggling," I can be that friend who responds, "GIRL. I so know what you're going through."

And I'll mean it.