Faith, Plain & Simple.
I meet with You and my soul sings out;
As Your word throws doubt far away.
I sing to You, and my heart cries 'holy-'
Hallelujah, Father, you're near.
My hope is in You, Lord,
All the day long;
I won't be shaken by drought or storm.
A peace that passes understanding is my song-
My hope is in You, Lord.
I wait for You, and my soul finds rest;
In my selfishness You show me grace.
I worship You, and my heart cries 'glory'
Hallelujah, Father you're here.
I will wait on You;
You are my refuge.
-Aaron Shust
This week has been so strange. Due to tornado warnings and flash floods, Spring Quarter has not even begun yet. School has been cancelled for the past 3 days plus the weekend, so I ended up having an extra week to sit at home, cuddled under blankets and watching movies. It was wonderfully relaxing, but I'm starting to feel restless. Hopefully classes will start tomorrow...
Anyway, today I went to Starbucks and spent some time journaling and reading my Bible. My spiritual life has been rather stagnant lately; whether that is due to immense busyness and stress, or just a lack of personal motivation, I'm not sure. But today I was determined to put forth the effort, and I'm so glad I did. God managed to tie everything together in my surroundings; the passages I read, the music playing in my headphones, and the chapter in the book I'm going through all combined to display a message of something I have been sorely lacking in my life:
Faith.
Faith is such a cliche term nowadays. It's gotten to the point where someone says "You just need to have faith," and we immediately stop listening and brush off the insensitive remark. Faith? What even is faith? What good does it actually do in our day-to-day lives?
So, of course my immediate reaction today was that of skepticism. The above picture, which I stumbled across this week, seems appropriate. So often I have tried to maintain control of my life and make decisions for myself, only to be broken and scarred by the consequences. I have doubts that there actually is someone looking after me, who knows what's best and is guiding me, even through my mistakes and regrets.
Of course I open my Bible to Hebrews 11, which is often labeled as the Faith Chapter. It had been a long time since I'd read it, and I immediately remembered how much I love it.
"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see...And it is impossible to please God without faith."
"It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king's anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible."
There are so many things I cannot see. So much about my future, even in the next few moths, is uncertain. My faith has to be strong in the One who can always assure me that He is in control. I need so badly to keep my eyes on Him, no matter what is happening around me, no matter how alone I may feel.
I continued to read to the end of the book, and in Hebrews 13, this practically jumped off the page.
"God has said,
'I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.'
So we can say with confidence,
'The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear.
What can mere people do to me?'"
But really. If God is on my side, why am I afraid of anything? As simple as this concept may be, it was exactly what I needed to hear today.
I'm currently reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot titled A Path Through Suffering, and she quotes an old Orthodox prayer:
Teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and with firm conviction that Your will governs all. In unforeseen events let me not forget that all are sent by You.
As I continued reading the chapter, Elliot went on to comment on how we should be trusting the Lord with our daily decisions and minuscule details.
We cannot make ourselves holy. But when we surrender ourselves to the Lord, learning day by day to treat all that comes to us with peace of soul and firm conviction that His will governs all, He will see to our growth in grace. He will so govern the events in our lives, down to the smallest detail, as to provide for us the conditions which may make us fruitful.
Everything that is happening in my life is for a perfectly valid reason, even if I never know what those reasons are. The part of me that longs to know why everything happens has to let go, and the part of me that longs to trust Him has to grow stronger.
Here's to a difficult journey ahead, my readers. May you learn to let go of the things in your lives that are troubling, discouraging or weighing you down, and may you have peace in knowing that there is One who holds every detail of your life in His hands, and knows exactly what He's doing...far more than we could ever dream of.
I'm not gonna worry
I know that You've got me
Right inside the palm of Your hand
Each and every moment, what's good and what gets broken
Happens just the way You planned
You are here, You're real
I know I can trust You
Even when it hurts, even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You, cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul, Healer of my scars
You steady my heart.
-Kari Jobe